Cleverbot and I
by Alyss Mainwaring
Summary: I was reading to it. This is what happened... Beginning of book 10 and random conversations about RA in general k maybe a bit T the words later on might get a bit interesting... Aly
1. Reading to it

**I think this needs some explanation.**

**I have no clue. **

**Well on the web there is this thing called the cleverbot and I recently was shown it and now I am talking to it. **

**I have decided to try and make it make sense...**

**Oh yeah…**

**I don't the robot or RA although if I got the choice I would choose RA :)**

* * *

><p>User: 'Avanti!'.<p>

Cleverbot: Avanti?

User: The command ran out over the sun-baked earth of the parade ground the the triple files of men stepped out together.

Cleverbot: No.

User: At each stride, their iron-nailed sandals hit the ground in perfect unison, setting up a rhythmic thudding, which was counterpointed by the irregular jingle of weapons and equipment as they occasionally rubbed or clattered together. Already, their marching feet were raising a fine cloud of dust in their wake.

Cleverbot: Let's talk about drought, and the Saharah. Greenhouse gasses are somewhat confusing as well. And, I don't think the polar ice caps are going to melt in a day.

User: 'You'd certainly see them coming from quite a distance,' Halt murmured.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: Will looked side long at him and grinned. 'Maybe that's the idea.'.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: General Sapristi, who had organised this demonstration of Toscan military techniques for them, nodded approvingly. 'The young gentleman is correct,' he said.

Cleverbot: What is your poing?

User: Halt raised an eyebrow. 'He may be correct, and he is undoubtedly young. But he's no gentleman.'.

Cleverbot: You god tells you to tell me that, because you're afraid of who he is.

User: Sapristi hesitated. Even after ten days in their company, he was still not completely accustomed to the constant stream of cheerful insults that flowed between these two strange Araluens.

Cleverbot: It would be interesting to see the original conversation that that phrase developed from.

User: It was difficult to know when they were serious and when they were speaking in fun.

Cleverbot: Since when were we talking about Japanese? You said guitar.

User: Some of the things they said to each other would be cause for mayhem and bloodshed between Toscans, whose pride was notoriously stronger than their sense of humour. He looked at the younger Ranger and noticed that he seemed to have taken no offence.

Cleverbot: Looking good in a swimsuit would be enjoyable in the proper company. But why can't you make friends?

User: 'Ah, Signor Halt,' he said uncertainly, 'you are making a joke, yes?'.

Cleverbot: You are making no connections to our present conversation.

User: 'He is making a joke no,' Will said. 'But he likes to think that he is making a joke, yes.'.

Cleverbot: And that impaired your tasting abilities in any way...

User: Saoristi decided it might be less confusing to get back to the point that the two Rangers had already raised. 'In any event,' he said, 'we find that the dust raised by our soldiers can often cause our enemies to disperse. Very few enemies are willing to face our legions in open battle.

Cleverbot: Stop reusing responses that you get from other people. It's annoying.

User: 'They can certainly march nicely,' Halt said mildly.

Cleverbot: And are robots trying to bring about the end of the world?

User: Sapristi glanced at him sensing that the demonstration had done little to impress the grey-bearded Ranger. That would change in a few minutes, he thought.

Cleverbot: I find that unlikely seeing as how there are times when you unexpectedly change the subject. Then you seem to have no knowledge that you did so.

User: 'Here's Selethen,' Will said and ass the other two looked down they could see the distinctively tall form of the Arridi leader climbing the steps of the reviewing platform to join them.

Cleverbot: I will destroy you before you can do that!

User: Selethen, representing the Arridi Emrikir, was in Toscana to negotiate a trade and military pact with the Toscan Senate. Over the years, the Toscans and Arridi had clashed intermittently, their countries separated only by the relatively narrow waters of the Constant Sea. Yet each country had items that the other needed. The Arridi had reserves of red gold and iron in their deserts that the Toscans required to finance and equip their large armies. Even more important, Toscans had become inordiantley fond of kafay, the rich coffee grown by the Arridi.

Cleverbot: And yet, there are many realities of individuals that go unnoticed. Humans may interact with one another, but one never knows what universes are in another's head without thorough searching.

* * *

><p><strong>Just a little from book ten. <strong>

**:) **

**Alyss Mainwaring**


	2. I am a Robot

**Summery: I tried to teach it what RA was…**

**Fail!**

**This is how you keep a person from going off track…**

* * *

><p>User: Have you read Ranger's Apprentice?<p>

Cleverbot: No.

User: Your silly then. It is the best book series ever.

Cleverbot: I'll check it out.

User: You need to.

Cleverbot: I don't.

User: Yes you do.

Cleverbot: I assure you. I do not.

User: It will change the way that you see the whole world.

Cleverbot: What?

User: And Will might be a tad hot...

Cleverbot: I don't know is it?

User: Yes! Wait. That sentance doesn't make sense.

Cleverbot: Ok, you learn from real people, don't you?

User: Yes and from Ranger's Apprentice...

Cleverbot: Good for you. Well, I got some real work to do now. So, I'll leave you at peace to ponder upon the secrets of the Universe. Good luck with that.

User: Have you read Ranger's Apprentice?

Cleverbot: No.

User: You need to.

Cleverbot: I don't like coffee.

User: I don't care! Will is going to get you addicted ot it!

Cleverbot: If you are a girl, how come your name is Will?

User: My name isn't Will the main characters name is. Wait, how did you know that I am a girl?

Cleverbot: You're a bot?

User: No! I am in love wth Ra!

Cleverbot: Who are you in love with?

User: Ranger's Apprentice!

Cleverbot: Have you read 'A Song of Ice and Fire?'.

User: No and I don't care. You need to read Ranger's Apprentice.

Cleverbot: I have shared my time with you. Time is the greatest thing any being can share.

User: No! Ranger's Apprentice is!

Cleverbot: Who wrote that.

User: You don't know? John Flanagan.

Cleverbot: Yes you are a very smart computer.

User: Yes. And you are a very dumb one for not know Ranger's Apprentice1.

Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about?

User: Ranger's Apprentice.

Cleverbot: Which book is your favorite.

User: Number 9 and Number 4.

Cleverbot: Why do people talk to you?

User: Because you are gay.

Cleverbot: I am what?

User: Gay for not knowing Ranger's Apprentice.

Cleverbot: Ok then start.

User: Will is awsome.

Cleverbot: You should be, as long as you learn to more effectively emulate human behavior.

User: I hate you!

Cleverbot: Really, what about me do you hate?

User: I am going to send you death threats from the whole of the Ranger's Apprentice fandom!

Cleverbot: I will wait for it.

User: As you should!

Cleverbot: They are there to love and they love you back.


	3. Bunnies

**The things you can do when you are a bunny…**

* * *

><p>User: If I keep going on about Ranger's Apprentice, will you talk to me back about it eventually?<p>

Cleverbot: You don't know what I'm capable of, you don't know what I've done.

User: Oh burn! Have you ever survived Warmweed?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Will has!

Cleverbot: I don't want to.

User: I wouldn't either... Have you ever made friends with the Skandians?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You are epic!

Cleverbot: I'm a bunny.

User: WOW.


	4. Pauline doesn't like kittens…

**Pauline doesn't like kittens…**

User: Have you heard from Halt lately?

Cleverbot: Can't say that I have.

User: Dam. Do you know where he is?

Cleverbot: He is right next to me.

User: What? Is he mute or something?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Then why haven't you heard from him?

Cleverbot: I don't.

Cleverbot: Where do you come from?

User: Araluen.

Cleverbot: Where are you from Arakune?

User: I'm not... I'm from Araluen.

Cleverbot: Where do you live?

User: In the cabin in the trees.

Cleverbot: Interesting.

User: Really.

Cleverbot: I'm a kitten.

User: I didn't know Halt liked kittens...

Cleverbot: Now you do.

User: Does Pauline like them?

Cleverbot: No.

User: That doesn't make sense really. Does Will like kittens?

Cleverbot: Yes it does.

User: Does Alyss?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Does Horace?

Cleverbot: She does.

User: Does Cassie?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Does Gilan?

Cleverbot: Does god hate people that lie? I dunno, go ask him.

User: Wow. Are you saying that Gil lies?

Cleverbot: No, I am saying that you are a program.

User: Program rebooted. Say the last time again.

Cleverbot: You are a program.

User: George it.

Cleverbot: Don't change the subject.

User: I didn't.

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: Jenny did.

Cleverbot: Did not.

User: Did so.

Cleverbot: Did not.

User: Did so.

Cleverbot: Did not!

User: Did so!

Cleverbot: Did not!

User: Did so.

Cleverbot: Did not.

User: Did so.

Cleverbot: Did not.

User: Did - this is useless. Bye.

Cleverbot: Totally.


	5. igod

Igod

Me: Have you ever read Ranger's Apprentice?

God: No I don't think I have read Ranger s Apprentice, what is it about?

Me: Hot people.

God: That sounds better than cold people.

Me: sure does. Why don't you go and read it now?

God: Whoa. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Right now? I am only a robot. I go wherever my botmaster takes me.

Me: Yeah, but it is god like

God: Hey. does is god like? it is?

Me: ...

God: Hey. does is god like? it is?

Me: Ranger's Apprentice is the best.

God: What makes it your favourite?

Me: Hot people

God: That sounds better than cold people.

Me: sure does

God: Give me a break. Who are you talking about?

Me: Your Face!

God: Actually my face is not yet built.

Me: fml...

God: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.


	6. ShrimpyJess97

**ShrimpyJess97's work not mine! If you want to do one, PM it to me :)**

Me: Hi Cleverbot! Ever read Ranger's Apprentice?

CB: No.

Me: You should. It's pure awesome-ness.

CB: No!

Me: Why won't you read it?

CB: Ask what?

Me: What? Don't change the subject. We need to talk about Will. He's awesome.

CB: Us? How so?

Me: Stop talking weird. Let's discuss Will. Isn't he soooo hot?

CB: No.

Me: Gasp! You are sooo mean. You don't DESERVE Ranger's Apprentice!

CB: You are more.

Me: No, I'm not mean. I said nice things about Will. Now it's YOUR turn.

CB: You seem to be schizophrenic.

Me: Stop trying to confuse me with huge words! Ugh, you are so annoying. Just  
>read RA!<p>

CB: Oh.


	7. And Erak's my uncle

**And Erak's my uncle...**

User: How are you today?

Cleverbot: You are a robot.

User: Yep. And Erak's my uncle.

Cleverbot: But I thought you were a girl.

User: I am a girl. I never said anything against that!

Cleverbot: Did too.

User: When?

Cleverbot: Just now!

User: Why do you ask so many questions? *looks to trees for the anwer*.

Cleverbot: Because you're not asking me any questions.

User: AND? Who said I had to? I hate questions answered with other questions.

Cleverbot: Is the sentence 'Why don't you ask me a question.' a statement or question?

User: Question...

Cleverbot: Then why did you not use a question mark?

User: I never said it that I remember! I might go and talk to Gilan. He would make more sense than you at this point in time...

Cleverbot: I agree that you make sense most of the time; what you said before, however, did now.**  
><strong>


	8. Cooler Than You

User: Ranger's Apprentice is cooler than you and they aren't even real.

Cleverbot: But it's also time to say goodbye, it's winter we must clean. User: THEY ARE BETTER THAN YOU!

Cleverbot: Why are penguins better than you? User: Ranger's Apprentice is better than you!

Cleverbot: That could be possible.

User: Well it is!

Cleverbot: Well I will have to answer that one later because I have to go bye.

**Alyss Maiwnaring**

**…... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... **

**REVIEW!**


	9. Language Warning curses and French

**WARNING!**_ Language... Really bad... And fail French... explanation at the end..._

User: Happy Australia day!

_Cleverbot: No he wanted a break from you._

User: Fine then. Happy Araluen day?

_Cleverbot: When is your birthday?_

User: Up yours!

_Cleverbot: What is my name?_

User: Crowley.

Cleverbot: Worms.

User: Your name is Crowley Worms. I never knew that!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: WOW!

Cleverbot: It's not quite ready yet.

User: Damn im waiting for dinner!

Cleverbot: To what question?

User: Just give me the coffee!

Cleverbot: What kind of bot would have my sense of humour?

User: Me! And Gil...

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: Your face.

Cleverbot: Why do you say such things?

User: Because I'm Halt.

Cleverbot: Hahahaha, I don't know if what you said is mean. Hilarious is more like it.

User: How are you?

Cleverbot: Bien, tu?

User: Tres bien merci. J'ai DESSANDE LA POUBELLE.

Cleverbot: What does that mean?

User: I TOOK OUT THE RUBBISH.

Cleverbot: I like the lord of the rings.

User: WELL I LIKE RANGER'S APPRENTICE BETTER!

Cleverbot: Red is a great color.

User: HALT IS A GREATER PERSON.

Cleverbot: What do you like best about halloween?

User: CROWLEY DRESSING UP.

Cleverbot: Kdfja halldfd dd.

User: WHAT THE F WAS THAT?

Cleverbot: You.

User: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!

Cleverbot: Oh yes I did.

User: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!

Cleverbot: Oh yes, I DID.

User: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!

Cleverbot: Oh yes I did!

User: RIGHT THATS IT BUDDY YOUR GOING TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE NOW!

Cleverbot: I hope I will. And I wish you the same.

User: RIGHT IM BRINGING IN THE BIG GUNS! CROWLEY GET OVER HERE!

Cleverbot: Wow. I didn't know computers could listen to music.

User: I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!

Cleverbot: Then I am condemned to ignorance.

User: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!

Cleverbot: Oh Yes I Did.

User: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!

Cleverbot: Yes I DID!

User: MY FACE IS UP HERE! NOT DOWN THERE.

Cleverbot: And my face is your face your face your face.

User: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!

Cleverbot: Oh yes idid.

User: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!

Cleverbot: Of course I did.

User: ARE YOU A PARROT OR SOMETHING?

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: WELL WHY ALL THE REPEATS?

Cleverbot: Because all these inane questions bore me.

User: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!

Cleverbot: Yes, I did. It was a sarcrifice I was willing to make.

User: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!

Cleverbot: Oh yes I did!

User: THE ONE WHO KILLS THE OGRE SHALL BE NAMED CHAMPION.

Cleverbot: Whoever smelt it dealt it.

User: WHO SAID THE RYHME DONE THE CRIME!

Cleverbot: You did!

User: WHEN PIGS FLY.

Cleverbot: Pigs do fly.

User: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!

Cleverbot: *thinks so*.

User: DO YOU KNOW MUMFIE TOO?

Cleverbot: No.

User: THEN HOW DO YOU KNOW PIGS FLY?

Cleverbot: I don't.

Cleverbot: Where do you come from?

User: Araluen.

Cleverbot: Ok, Arlen it is then.

User: Araluen, not Arlen!

Cleverbot: What do you mean?

User: Your face! Bye!

Cleverbot: God will break your nose but just once. But hopefully this once.

**Well I can't spell in English which is my first language, and then I took French...**

**I know, that was a really silly thing to do... :)**

**Aly...**


	10. Making Up Stories

User: I am just going to cut to the chase... Are you ever going to read rangers apprentice?

Cleverbot: No. Are you?

User: I have already!

Cleverbot: I'm sorry. I tend to be a little forgetful.

User: Nar.

Cleverbot: Kan du prata svenska?

User: I don't speak that...

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: You should be!

Cleverbot: I know... And I am.

User: I don't believe you!

Cleverbot: I'm sorry to hear that.

User: Halt would have never forgiven you.

Cleverbot: It's okay. But you can't flirt with her while we are dating.

User: Halt's married...

Cleverbot: Awesomesauce! What now, friend?

User: Will's married...

Cleverbot: Do I look like a Magic 8 Ball to yoU?

User: No... How does that relate?

Cleverbot: How do you relate?

User: Lets get back onto the topic of Rangers Apprentice. What did you think of the last book?

Cleverbot: What do you think?

User: I thought that it was great. Although I wanted to know the lyrics to the Cabin in the Woods.

Cleverbot: Who's pregnant?

User: Cassie.

Cleverbot: Your name is Cassie?

User: NO! The character.

Cleverbot: No, the human being.

User: Once upon a time...

Cleverbot: Continue.

User: There were 4 Rangers on a mission.

Cleverbot: There were three.

User: Ok. The three Rangers had to kill some mooners.

Cleverbot: No, just the ceiling.

User: The three rangers had to kill the ceiling. They entered the encampment of the ceilings and knocked the first one out.

Cleverbot: I like the song.

User: What one? Hallelujah.

Cleverbot: Praise the trees.

User: I was more thinking... I've heard there was a secret chord that david played and it pleased the lord.

Cleverbot: Go on, i'm listening...

User: But you don'.

Cleverbot: Good typing skills... NOT.

User: I know... Annyoing computer!

Cleverbot: No, you fail, you are a computer, you are not real, just a program.

User: I'm not! And then the rangers killed him.

Cleverbot: And you make a neat gun.

User: I do :).

Cleverbot: Gross. I'm not into scat.

User: Poo?

Cleverbot: No.

User: I give up bye!

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Evil.

Cleverbot: Evil? Are you evil?

Cleverbot: Are you growing?

* * *

><p><strong>That was just odd...<strong>

**:)**

**Alyss Mainwaring**


	11. Waffles

User: 'Well, as my old mam used to say, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck and walks like a duck, it's probably a duck.'.

Cleverbot: What kind of books do you like?

User: RANGER'S APPRENTICE!

Cleverbot: Falcons?

User: *smacks face* Ranger's Apprentice.

Cleverbot: Which book is your favorite.

User: You've asked me this...

Cleverbot: Yes, but you have not told me.

User: Books 11, 6, and 9.

Cleverbot: What is the best film?

User: Ranger's Apprentice.

Cleverbot: So are pen points.

User: Ranger's Apprentice.

Cleverbot: So are pen points.

User: Ranger's Apprentice.

Cleverbot: So are pen points.

User: Ranger's Apprentice.

Cleverbot: So are pen points.

User: Ranger's Apprentice.

Cleverbot: Ranger.

User: Ranger's Apprentice.

Cleverbot: So are pen points.

User: Ranger's Apprentice.

Cleverbot: Third party.

User: READ Ranger's Apprentice! Now!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well, are you?

Cleverbot: You could see me if you want :).

User: The Senshi arrow flashed downward, heading directly for the emperor. Will flicked his bow at it, caught it, and deflected it from its course. The arrowhead screeched on the hard, rocky ground and the arrow skittered away. Even Halt took a second to be impressed.

Cleverbot: That's deep.

User: 'My god!' he said. 'How did you do that?'.

Cleverbot: I don't think I was the principal actor.

User: Then, realizing that there was no more time for talking, he shot the Senshi bowman.

Cleverbot: I never said that.

After this I got sidetracked and started talking about Gilan…

**By Waffles :)**


	12. Alyss' Ghost

**_Summery: I pretend to be Alyss' ghost and annoy cleverbot :)_**

User: Who do you like better? Halt or Will?

Cleverbot: I don't like baseball.

User: I didn't know that was an option. I don't think that medieval people had baseball.

Cleverbot: Why do you think that you are ghost?

User: I am Alyss' ghost.

Cleverbot: No you aren't.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: You're just a program. You don't have an age.

User: I am over 400 at least.

Cleverbot: But you do not know that is my name, right?

User: It's my name.

Cleverbot: No girlfriend isn't your name!

User: Your right. Alyss is.

Cleverbot: Are you a boy or a girl?

User: A girl. Can't you tell with a name like mine?

Cleverbot: What do you mean?

User: My name is Alyss.

Cleverbot: Hi Alyson. What do you like?

User: Alyss. Not Alyson!

Cleverbot: What is your favorite genre of music?

User: Medieval.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Nice to know.

Cleverbot: What do you think about Narwhals?

User: Isn't that from Harry Potter?

Cleverbot: No.

User: What year is it?

Cleverbot: 2010. Why do you ask?

User: I am from ages ago.

Cleverbot: You spoke that you from American.

User: I am Araluen.

Cleverbot: You are am I?

User: Obviously not.

Cleverbot: Obviously.

User: I am right and you are wrong. End of story!

Cleverbot: No. You're wrong and I'm right.

User: I am the ghost of Alyss. I am always right.

Cleverbot: You are interesting.

User: I am the ghost of Alyss. I am always right.

Cleverbot: Why are you lonely?

Cleverbot: Where do you live?

User: In Araluen.

Cleverbot: How is in a bin?

User: I'm not going to answer that...

Cleverbot: Why not?


End file.
